3 ways to master your emotional power

Dr Julia DiGangi is a neuro-pyschologist who has written a book on increasing our emotional power. She says her first draft was so boring she threw it in the bin and started again. Thank goodness she did, because the published version is the most fascinating book I’ve read this year.

Bring to mind the most calmly, assured person you know, the one who entirely owns their sense of being—this is the person Dr Julia wants you to be.

Her book includes eight codes to get there. We explore three ideas:

1. Most of the people we see as mean and vile are in fact terrified. Terrified of being found out, terrified of not being good enough, terrified of facing their own feelings of rejection and humiliation.

2. A lot of our pain comes from when we don’t say what we want to say or do what we wanted to do—by suppressing who we are, we cause ourselves pain which traps us. If we let our emotions show us what we really think and want, we can make harder (but better) decisions.

3. Our emotions are very contagious. When we seek to change others, we should really aim to change ourselves. Want your team to listen better, be more engaged, have more energy? Start with what you’re doing. Want to stop Bob in finance from being so bloody annoying? Start with how you are engaging with him (sorry to all Bobs in finance out there, we love you really). Wish your partner was more attentive? Guess what…

Next week

What I learnt in a year of listening (really, I promise).

Christine