How listening improves your thinking

Steven Barlett confessed this week that he’s a ‘fixer’ who’s had to learn to ‘sit in the mud’ with other people’s problems rather than jumping into solutions.

Not interrupting is my theme of the week.

I did a Thinking Partners course with Meg Peppin 18 months ago where we practiced listening to someone else think aloud without interrupting at all. First for a minute or two at a time, but as we got better at it (maybe!), we’d listen to their thoughts for up to half an hour.

Since then, I’ve practiced every week with a thinking partner—we listen carefully to what is on each other’s mind for 15-20 minutes each.

Thinking aloud magically breaks you out of the washing machine cycle of your recurring stresses and anxieties that swirl in your own head. The result is more akin to hanging the laundry out, you start to see order, patterns, and solutions in what was previously a hot, soggy mess.

That process has given me what therapy is designed for: an anchor in the week; a moment to be still and process the things that matter… and my response to them.

But much more than that. As I actively listen, I become more curious. Submerging myself in someone else’s mind’s eye, the world looks and feels different. The process extends my empathy and knowledge. It calms me.

How often do you interrupt and what impact does it have?

Also, we’re experimenting with shorter vlogs and clips so all thoughts on this approach are welcome. 

Next week

I was told this week that working from home is a catastrophe for feminism. Is there a grain of truth in that?

Christine